Blissful Torment

Here at Libitec, we don't just make the best sex toys. We strive to make sex toys that blow your mind, or more. We are proud to announce our fourth major product. You might have thought we were just enjoying our time in the Bahamas drinking Piña Coladas with all the money we made from previous devices, but you could not be further from the truth. Absolutely not! So we spent it all on quantum entanglement research.

Now you might not know what quantum entanglement is or how it works. Neither do we. It's some fancy-schmancy physics talk for what we could probably best describe as magic. Seriously, we just bought the research off some Russian genius. Bit of a weirdo, but smart as hell. But I can tell you what it does: it connects things.

Just imagine a very large and thick coin, or rather a pair of metal discs. Each is about the thickness of a smartphone. We are going to sell a couple different shapes, mostly elliptical or round, but at the end of the day the precise shape is basically irrelevant. For a small fee you can order a custom shape if you have a specific idea. The only limitations are that the pair is identical, and that the total area cannot be larger than about a beer coaster.

It's a bit hard to describe it to you, because it's really quite confusing to look at. Nearly makes you think you're tripping. Both discs look the same from their undersides, just brushed aluminium, nothing unusual going on. Looking at the front is like looking through a periscope. Your gaze goes into one disc, and out the front of the other. The boffins tell me it's the other way 'round, with light rays going into one disc, then out the other and into your eyeballs, but to me that's even more confusing.

Essentially it is a hole, but it is a hole in time and space! Okay, just space! It's a hole that leads from one disc to the other. Maybe you've seen that game called Portal? Just like that, except without the psychopathic robot. Hm... maybe we should make a robot Mistress next? Anyway, back on topic. Stick something into one, and it will come out the other. The lawyers told me we can't call it Portal without getting sued, so we're calling it a Gate.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: the Glory Gate. Why Glory Gate? It's like a glory hole, but way better. Stick one end to a bathroom stall, and put the other end on your desk. Whenever someone pokes their dick through it, fresh cock on your desk! Give it a blowjob! Fun!

You could give it to your boyfriend at work, so he can sneak it under his desk in his pants, and get a nice distraction. In fact, why even bother with the sneaking at all! He can just put it into his pants and over his cock in the morning. Whether he feels a cool breeze or a warm mouth is up to you.

And it's not like you can't move a disc in use. You can totally put your half onto a chair, or stick it to a wall, and ride it like a suction cup dildo, except it's a real cock.

If you're of the feminine persuasion, order a more oval shape, and lay it into your panties before you put them on. It will give your partner access to your pussy and clit at all times. He can conveniently slide his disc over his cock to penetrate you. Even if you're nearby, giving head was never this comfortable. No more uncomfortable neck bending! Trust me, it's more like licking ice cream, except it's clearly not vanilla, and there's a moaning girl next to you. 

We recommend some safety precautions. Put a reminder on your phone so you don't forget to take your cock with you, especially on holidays. Send a text message to your partner if you have to go pee, so the other party can put your genitalia into the sink or bathtub. Or not, if that's your kink. 

In fact there are a lot of fun kinky things you can do. Put the disc into a chastity belt. Wrap a string around cock and balls and tie it off behind the disc, making it impossible to take it off. I've been told by testers that having your cock in a different room entirely makes for an incredible denial sensation, and all without having to deal with impractical cock cages.

If that's not your thing, it was never so easy to have sex in public! No matter how hard you cum, your clothes remain fresh and your hard-on stays hidden. Go for a romatic walk in the park with your partner's hand in yours, and his dick deep inside your pussy. Nobody will know.

This toy would have always filled us with pride, but with the current global situation, the ability to send someone a disc and have fun at any distance is more than we could have hoped to accomplish.

There are currently some size limitations, but with a bit of creativity, you can do a lot with very little. As they say: it's not the size that matters. It's what you do with it!

Blissful Torment, 2020-10-20